What's up with Lady Nu's "Emo-ness" ?

I've been receiving tons of emails, PMs, signed & unsigned reviews both from Fictionpress & Soompi regarding the 'terrible things' I've been doing to Ayane and Kosuke. Guys, I still wanted to do so many things in my life like get married, have kids, become an astronaut... so please don't kill me yet! AHHH!

Anyway, kidding aside...

Regarding the question about why Ayane was acting the way she was - Why was she acting so "emo"? Why can't she just get over it and be with Kosuke and forget everything else? Why does she have to make her life and love-life so overly-dramatic with the way she acts? Why does she have to react that way? Why does she have to deny that she was Ayane? Why can't she just blurt out that "Hey, I'm your Aya-chan!". If she wanted revenge, why can't she just kill Daisuke? Why is Kosuke on the kill list?

Lots of questions, huh? Told you, I'm the Brain Fryer, hehe.

I couldn't answer those questions straight up, but instead, let me point out several things to you that may answer your confusion a bit - -

Fact # 1
If Ayane told Kosuke as early as now that she is Ayane and just live happily ever after, F&L2 will be over before it even reaches the climax! Before killing me, please let me have the opportunity to bring out the stuff I have on my 'secret box' gradually. Besides, if I came up with such 'rushed' ending/conclusion to F&L as early as now, you would surely be left hanging with all the questions unanswered.

Fact # 2
Remember that Ayane is currently suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder. In the reader's perspective, her reasons may seem 'dense' - - I understand that it may make readers think that "...she's so stupid... Why does she have to go emo like that when she can just tell him that she's Ayane and live happily ever after...". But if you would consider this fact along with those terrible things that have happened to her in the past, it is only logical that her fear and guilt affects her ability to make decisions. That's why if you have noticed, I emphasize that each time she and Kosuke meets, she kinda goes 'out of her mind'. Her 'assassination mission' was going well in Chapter 14: Lost Memories, but when Kosuke appeared, she suddenly goes *blamm!*.

Fact # 3
Remember that Yamazaki Daisuke is now the Prime Minister of Japan. Meaning, he's now more powerful - - a lot more powerful than before. The Spectra is under Kosuke's command now, but even though this is the case, Daisuke is still the 'big guy' over the gang <---- WHY? I can't reveal the reason for now. I can't elaborate because it may spoil some things that should be revealed on the pending chapters, but here's the thing - Daisuke is still 'technically' the Grand Boss of the Spectra gang... and at the same time, he is also the leader of the entire Japan.

That makes him twice or even thrice as powerful.

And as I've mentioned in the chapter where Nami finally confessed that she is not Kosuke's real mother, she told Kosuke that Daisuke made him take over the gang because it was part of his revenge - to make Kosuke the leader of the very gang his real parents started, meaning:

1) He has to undergo the pressure of being the leader
2) It was in his job description to kill - to transform into a person he's not
3) He was made to take over despite his unwillingness
4) He had to suffer by going through all these ^
5) Daisuke has just successfully made his ultimate revenge upon Gendou and Lily Akiyama (Kosuke's real parents) - - making their own son suffer.

And knowing these, this brings us to Fact # 4 . . .

Fact # 4
Because Yamazaki Daisuke is twice or thrice as powerful than before, even the Silver Crescent couldn't just jump onto him and kill him that easily. And so, as the leader of the Silver Crescent, Ayane formulated a 'grand scheme' to take down the Spectra as stealthily as they could. If you have noticed, they have been doing things gradually - killing important affiliates first, raiding storages, assassinating more affiliates, hacking into their computer systems... all these rather than going straight to Daisuke to kill him, because she knows that doing so would not be as easy as it seems even though she can fight better than Bruce Lee, Jet Li, or Lara Croft. This way, it would be like taking down the foundations of a building first rather than bringing the whole structure down in one blow, which was basically impossible, granted that they were battling against another big gang.

I do hope you get the picture... Makes it more realistic, eh?

But the other big question is... Why is Kosuke on the 'kill list' of the Silver Crescent?

Fact # 5
Kosuke IS the NEW leader of the Spectra Gang. Even though he seems like a puppet of Daisuke, he is where he is. I couldn't expound on this yet because it would be another major spoiler if I say as early as now the reason why Ayane 'had' to include him in the kill list.

But hey, if Kosuke has been in the 'kill list' for such a long time now, why aren't the Silver Crescent killing him yet when they all have their chances? Besides, he's been out in the open too often, unguarded and leisurely going around... For the reason, let's just say that it has something to do with Fact # 4 ^ (doing the revenge plan 'gradually').

Not satisfied with the reasoning in Fact # 4?

Hehe.

Well, if you're good, that alone gives you a clue...


Next stuff - - Why can't Ayane just tell Kosuke that she IS Ayane?

Fact # 6
One symptom of someone suffering from post-traumatic disorder is 'denial' and 'diversion from self'. If you have noticed, Ayane has gone through a drastic personality change. She has transformed into a completely different person, yet somewhere inside her was longing to find her true self.

I read an almost similar psychological case from a medical journal from my research and I kind of applied it to Ayane's case - that because of her sudden 'shift' to a persona that she isn't, she begins to become confused of who she really is. The result is that she has been acting as different personas ("multiple/split personalities") - sometimes she act as a really cruel gang leader. One time, she acted like a child at such daze during the "glow-in-the-dark-stars" Sessions chapter. Then on one chapter, she was drinking and drinking while willfully telling Shizuki of her past. One chapter, she was dancing so gracefully that no one would think that she's the same person as the gang leader, that she's the same person that was at daze with the glow-in-the-dark stars chapter, that she was that drunken girl...

This psychiatric condition + her guilt + her sadness + her hatred + her grand revenge plan = FACT # 2

You could imagine the overwhelming emotions swarming inside her.

Now, I ask you - - Who wouldn't go insane?

And that's why she couldn't tell Kosuke that she's Ayane. It's not because she's emo, or because she's being too dramatic... She could not tell him because she wasn't mentally capable of doing so, even though inside her, she was screaming "I AM AYANE!".

And Shizuki's role in this story is to fix this mess ^ .

And besides, if she did tell him that she is indeed Ayane, there would be no need for me to write Chapter 21-30 - the much awaited romance chapters, hehehe...



^ So there, I hope those things I've written spared my life, hehe.

Thank you for your continuous support! If you have more questions, don't hesitate to PM/e-mail/message me in Fictionpress, Hotmail, or Soompi.

-hiro

Chapter 19: Perfection

Meeting number 2 up! No room for the good old amnesia bombs this time...

Chapter 19 in Fictionpress and Soompi

I'm happy to have completed the 'emo' part of the stories (well, nearly complete - there's still Sessions Part 4).

As much as possible, in this chapter, I'd like to emphasize the overwhelming emotions of guilt, hatred, helplessness, frailty, and imperfection of Yoshida Ayane. This is part of the contrast between F&L 1 and 2. This is sort of like an ascend to how things have gotten complicated, then later as we go on, we'll fix these things little by little by revelations left and right. I think that writing the chapter in first person really made it work, although I am still having a hard time doing so. I did not want her to sound whiny or 'incessantly miserable'. I wanted Ayane to tell her thoughts in such a way that she sounds 'tough', yet once you read between the lines, you'll actually see that she's very much shattered inside.

Now, time to lighten things up a bit for chapter 21-30. I have bad news for Crosse fans though... I don't think he'll be coming out in 21-30 yet.

-hiro

Chapter 18: Costumes uploaded

The Olympic season has finally come to an end, hehe.

I brought Meia to the airport an hour ago. Geez, talk about a massive crowd. I've never seen the airport as crowded as that. But everyone, you have to see the Chinese Airport. Gotta be one of the best airports around the globe.

Anyway, regarding Chapter 18 - tons of revelations up for grabs for Kosuke, although most of these have been exposed already in F&L 1; however, I revealed something here in this chap - another 'branch of the family tree'. Yep, they're siblings...

It has been revealed here also what Ayane and Lin have been practicing for... and for the next chaps - I bet romance fans would love the next bunch of chapters, hehe. I've done angst, action, drama, and bits of comedy for the earlier chapters. So, time for some thrilling romance, I guess (Don't tell me I didn't warn you) ... The next chapters (after Sessions Part 4) would be something that Ayane-Kosuke fans would enjoy.

And holy crap, my internet is like doomed in deep sh*t. Yahoo takes around a minute to download. You can imagine how long it takes for Hotmail / Fictionpress / Soompi to open. Maybe those massive fireworks zoomed to some communication wire or something...

Oh, thanks for dropping by... and thanks for reading F&L.

-hiro

Chapter 17: Cookies & New Chapter 3-5 for F&L 1 uploaded

Yes, the chapter is entitled 'Cookies' because I'm eating cookies right now. The original title was supposed to be 'Revelation' but I thought that it was too big of a word for the chapter, so yeah, cookies, that is...

And another yes, this is another transition chapter, but if you would notice, I dropped quite a number of clues in this chapter. Clues to what? Well, look closely, hehe.

Kosuke gets to hear a big shock in this chapter too. What is the reason behind Yamazaki Nami's involvement? That would be revealed in the latter chapters when Ayane talks about the contents of the Silver Disk in the next Sessions chapters, specifically the account written on Yoshida Akira's diary.

Chapter 3 - 5 of Fists and Lipsticks 1 has been re-written. It was a hard work, really... Revising stuff that was too long and horrendous upon second read... I remedied the chapters into better ones, but it would be perfect still. More revisions needed!

Cheers and enjoy!

-hiro

Prologue for Fists and Lipsticks Book 1 Uploaded

As I've said, I'm currently doing massive revisions in Fists and Lipsticks Book 1, specifically Chapter 1-30 (which, upon re-reading it... I found abhorrently horrendous...)

I also added a prologue. Feel free to check it out both in Fictionpress and Soompi.

I've also uploaded the 'new' Chapter 1, but still I'm not fully satisfied with it. Maybe it WILL undergo another round of revisions. I don't know... The whole thing just does NOT sound right for me.

Also, I'm pulling out the .DOC version from Soompi temporarily until further notice. It has something to do with the massive revisions, so yeah, the next DOC version I'd upload would be the COMPLETE one. My target is within the next two weeks. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Chapter 16: Loyalty

For me, honestly, this was supposed to be a boring transition chapter. To avoid such utterly horrendous and boring transition chapter, I added up some Yoon bits into it to make it rather amusing at some point.

Nothing much to say, except that I thank you for reading F&L and for your continuous support ^_^. Sorry if I give poorly-written author replies compared to other writers in Fictionpress and Soompi. It's just that after reading your comments, I end up grinning like a hyena, and then I would totally go blank, speechless... -_-

Meia was telling me - "Hiro, you should give author replies to each one! If I were your reader, I would love to see you responding to my posts and will continue reading your work!"

I need an anti-hyena-grin pill. Someone give me a anti-hyena-grin pill!

Anyway, regarding F&L1 by the way, I am re-writing Chapter 1-30 of Book 1 of Fists and Lipsticks. This is to make the first part of the fic more captivating to read, less on the 'anime-ish' side and a little more to a type that is acceptable in 'book standards', if you know what I mean. After rereading the first few chapters, I really wasn't satisfied. It felt like reading a monotonous comic book... I dunno, all of a sudden I am not satisfied with it. I got bored reading my own work, hehe... So I'm doing a massive revision, yeah... The plot will be the same still, same with the events, but some speaking lines and the descriptions may be changed a little. I'm still thinking whether to pull out or to leave the Onion Emoticons on, or maybe lessen them a bit... But after writing Chapter 16, I think it's more hilarious letting them stay at some point... I have to think about that.

Anyway, thanks again for reading F&L...

-hiro

F&L Chapter 15 - Sessions

A chapter spanning 3000+ words...

And yes, the 'love-web' is now complete.

I told you...

You wouldn't be able to guess it was HIM, hehe.

So yeah, things would be rather twisted from this point on... really twisted, but I'll do my best to make sense out of everything.

The question is why Yuken? Well... you have to read on. The other question is how Yuken was able to 'make it out' of the Lethal Lily amnesic effect that time Yoon attacked him? Well... I can't reveal that yet either.

And I decided to show the 'serious, gangster-ish' side of the goofy little Korean bomber: Yoon ^_^

And why did I update? It's because I just got home from the Olympics opening ceremony and heck whoah omfg combined really...

(Sorry for the quality of the two pictures above ^.
They were taken via mobile phone)

I haven't witnessed anything as marvelous as that! It was awesome, especially the mandolin players (who were directly below our seat btw) and the lighting of the torch. It was one of those moments when you just can't help but drop your jaw in awe and feel the goosebumps from head to toe.

In case you're wondering, I have the habit of pre-writing 5 chapters in advance, that's why sometimes updates are too fast and sometimes not too fast. I've already finished up to Chapter 18 though, just 3 chapters in advance for today since I was too eager to post a chapter today. It must have been the Olympic spirit, hehe.

-hiro

F&L2 - Chapter 13 & 14 uploaded

^ New poster by the way. Photo used with permission from Kevin Tze of Flickr.


Two quickly uploaded chapters as a pre-Olympic treat ^_^

F&L2 Chapter 13 in Fictionpress and Soompi

F&L2 Chapter 14 in Fictionpress and Soompi

The original plan was to put chapter 13 and 14 together, but it would be impossible because of the length so I decided to cut them into two chapters.

The concept of these chapters was to stress the big contrast between Ayane's seemingly 'split' personality. Chapter 13 talks of a tough Ayane while Chapter 14 shows a frail person behind her seemingly impenetrable shields.

And yes, finally they meet but... hehe.

People, don't kill me. I can't finish this story and I can't watch the Olympics if you kill me now, you know... LOL

I had a hard time in Chapter 14. First, the first-person narration (which is in a female's POV by the way) came a little difficult for me. I had to re-write several lines to make them more feminish.

Second, I had to edit a lot of colors while fixing the post in Soompi. Those [b] and [/center] stuff to format the whole thing came pretty hard, since there were a lot of lines delivered from the Spider Web. I had to color the speaking lines to demarcate them from the actual scenes.

Lastly, it has been always difficult to write an action scene. Like you have to describe how they move, how they kick, how they punch, how they glide and point their guns... It was a lot different from F&L - the feel of writing this chapter. I only had the chance to describe fight scenes with such animation with the Keiko chapters nearing the end. But here in F&L, since we have a new Empress, we had to expect more action chaps... *SIGH*. Writing action fics is a lot harder than writing fantasy and dramas, you know... I hope I did justice to F&L2 at least...

But the conflicts and deception are just about to start. For the next chapter, I will unfold the last love rival on the 'love web' I've been talking about.

You'll never know who it is, hehehehe...

Thank you for reading F&L. I also noticed that there are new readers too, so yeah, welcome and hope you enjoy your stay.

-hiro

F&L2 - Chapter 11 & 12 uploaded

The Olympics is fast approaching. I'm excited, hehe...

Anyway, back to the fics, here are the links:

F&L2 Chapter 11 - Vodka, Champagne, & Tequila Cocktails in Fictionpress & Soompi
F&L2 Chapter 12 - Lethal Lilies in Fictionpress & Soompi

I really don't know what to say except thank you for taking the time to read F&L. I've said this a million times I know, but it just feels great to say it often... So yeah, thanks!

By the way, for Chapters 11-20, there would be a... let's say... rather shocking twist. So prepare for that *evil grin*. It has something to do with a "new" villain - a part of the 'love web' I was talking about. Remember that I said once that there's another character in the web besides Aya, Kosuke, Crosse, Saori, and Rei? Well... there... hehe. That's all I can say for now.

The much anticipated Aya-Kosuke meeting? We're getting to that part. It's not too near, but not to far either.

Again, TY for dropping by and enjoy!

-hiro

Fists and Lipsticks 2: 8, 9, 10 uploaded

I have been updating pretty quick recently because I MIGHT be gone for a week because Meia arrived here in China yesterday. We'll be going around places for vacation, hehe.

F&L2-CH08 in Fictionpress and Soompi
F&L2-CH09 in Fictionpress and Soompi
F&L2-CH10 in Fictionpress and Soompi

Chapter 8 is the chapter that Yoon fans would love. I apologize for the lousy Korean parts or if they are wrong or if they sound ridiculous. Meia just found the translations in Babelfish. Special thanks to people in Soompi for helping me correct some parts (luckii, bee, cmacaronee, and woodchild.jnr).

Chapter 9 contains the deal between Ayane and Mr. Williams. In writing this chapter, I made her as intimidating as she could be, from her clothes down to her manner of speech. I wanted that 'startle' factor with a mix of tension, angst, and sarcasm. Also, I made it as such to demark the great difference between her outer self and her 'lost self'... a transition between this chapter to the next one - Sessions Part 2

Chapter 10 contains the second day of Ayane's theraphy session with Shizuki. Aside from this, you would be given a little glimpse of what happened in the airport that night Ayane escaped from Japan with a certain Yoshifumi Shigeo (in Fists and Lipsticks Book 1). A little warning though... Meia cried after reading this chapter, hehe.

Thank you for reading F&L!

-hiro

The Silver Crescent Chapter 6,& 7 uploaded

Lately, I've been really lazy updating my writing blog. Will someone please hit me on the head?

OUCH!

Anyway, here -

Chapter 6 in Fictionpress & Soompi
Chapter 7 in Fictionpress & Soompi

Well, Chapter 6 must be the most hated chapter of the Anti-Saori Club hehe... It just proves that my writing is effective in relaying that feeling. I created Saori's character to cause such pester and annoyance, not only to the characters but also to the readers. Bad news is, you're going to read more of her in the succeeding chapters.

Chapter 7 named 'Orders' particulary offers a glimpse of how Kosuke and Ayane are as 'gang leaders'. There would be an appearance of Dmitri Williams in this chapter too, and a face off between Nu Huang and the doubtful Yuken, who has turned into a professional photographer as you have read.

Who is Ayane meeting? Lots have been speculating that she's meeting Crosse... Well, let's see in the next chapter who that person will be (hehehe...)

-hiro

F&L2: Sessions Part 1 uploaded

A chapter that took me three days to make.

F&L2 Chapter 5- Session on Fictionpress & Soompi.

For Fists and Lipsticks 2 – The Silver Crescent©, Reminiscence chapters will be named Sessions. Instead of being composed entirely of flashback chapters, the narration of ‘untold events’ would be done through a battery of psychological treatment sessions for Yoshida Ayane under Dr. Okamoto Shizuki. Like the Reminiscences, the chapters would be in first person, this time as told by Shizuki.

I had to learn the patho-physiology behind Post-traumatic Stress Disorder including the signs and symptoms. I had to learn how to make an acceptable medical history too. It was a hard task, but worth it since I learned a lot too. For a while, I felt as if I were a real doctor, hehe.

I figured out that using 'flashbacks' the ordinary way is too overused, so I came up with this new approach. Tell me how was it, was it hard to understand? I appreciate your opinion.

BTW, do I have a Korean reader around? I need help for Yoon's future speaking lines. Do PM me if you're willing to translate some lines for me and I'll credit you. Thank you.

-The Author

F&L2 Chapter 3 & 4 uploaded

For some reason, I couldn't access Blogspot the previous day so I wasn't able to post an update AN.

Anyway, here it is-

Chapter 3 in Fictionpress (unabridged)
Chapter 3 in Soompi (abridged)

Chapter 4 in Fictionpress
Chapter 4 in Soompi

These chapters will tell what became of Yuken & Shizuki ^_^. Also, a little glimpse of Kosuke's 'new' life and 'hobby' hehe...

Also, I casted myself hahaha. Oh come on, give me the role of the Senior Investigator Hiro. That's one of my dream jobs, you know (aside from being an astronaut, lol).

Hope you enjoy it. Thank you for dropping by.

-hiro (for some reason I've been growing lazier and lazier in updating this blog. hmm.)

F&L2 Chapter 2: Changes uploaded

Chapter 2: Changes have been uploaded...

Chapter 2 in Fictionpress
Chapter 2 in Soompi Forums

And yes, for Fists and Lipsticks 2, it would be written in 1st person (except for parts without Ayane, which would be written in the usual 3rd person).

A little glimpse/introduction to the new characters...

Enjoy and thank you for reading, especially to the old readers who have come back to read and the new readers too!

-hiro

Chapter 1 of F&L2: Dance of Death uploaded

Ah, at last we're ready for another chapter posting spree, hehe.

Hey readers, welcome back to F&L. I've finished up to chapter five now, but I'll post the first one at the mean time -

Fists and Lipsticks 2: The Silver Crescent
Chapter 1 in Fictionpress
Chapter 1 in Soompi

Ayane's back for some big revenge. New characters, new conflicts, new love-triangles, new secrets, new action...

No censored scene for Soompi for Chapter 1. Contents are the same.

Happy reading!

-hiro

Fists and Lipsticks 2: The Silver Crescent - Prologue posted!

I was planning to keep this first until I finish at least the initial 5 chapters, but due to insistent public demand, okay guys here it is - -


The prologue has been posted both on Fictionpress and Soompi Forums.

But Chapter 1, I'll be holding it first. Give me a week or two since I'm still making the flowchart of the sequence of vital events so that I'll not end up lost in the process.

Thank you for supporting me and this project ^_^

-hiro

Fists and Lipsticks "Season 1 Finale" uploaded

Hehe, sounds like CSI or something...

Season 1 Finale at Fictionpress.

Season 1 Finale at Soompi Forums


Thank you to all the readers!

(I'll be right back for a longer comment... I'm hungry right now. I'll just go out and grab a dumpling!)

-hiro

F&L currently undergoing massive revisions for PDF version

Since the next chapter I'm going to post will be the last chapter for Part 1 of Fists and Lipsticks, I decided to proofread the chapters not included in the Version 2.0 PDF/.doc Version so that once the final chapter is released, the .doc version containing all the chapters can be released too.

F&L Chapter 74: Bloodstains - uploaded

Second to the last chapter up... One to go before Part 1 of F&L ends

74 in Fictionpress

74 in Soompi Forums


I've included some confirming data regarding the 'hinted' secrets that remained unanswered. Also, a brief narration of what happened in Keiko's past is included in this chapter (about the Silver Crescent).

I intentionally made that narration confusing. I have a chapter that would explain that part in-depth, but it will come in the "Season Two".

Another bulk of Reminiscence chapters? Well, maybe... maybe... But it wouldn't be as long as those in the first part.

Thank you for reading F&L. One to go... ^_^

-hiro

F&L Chapter 73: Keiko's Secret - posted

This chapter contains the two biggest twists in the story.

Chapter 73 in Fictionpress

Chapter 73 in Soompi

I was always to confident that no one could guess both these twists. Well, the one for Keiko's identity - as I revealed several clues on the previous chapters, I could say that that was pretty much easy to predict, but the big twist towards the end of the chapter, surprisingly, someone from Soompi was able to guess it (hehe, and here I thought I was being perfectly unpredictable ... geez... lol...)

I'm sure you guys know "whom" I was referring to with the last sentence of the chapter ^_^

Well, see you in Chapter 74. I'm happy, there's 2 more to go before I conclude Part 1 of F&L. Thank you for reading!

-hiro