Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Author Notes form F&L2 Chapter 34, 35, and 36

This is copy-pasted from Soompi Forums for Fictionpress readers to read too. Hope the clarifications help... - The Author

===================

Author note & Review replies for
Chapter 34 – Smears


This chapter came a little difficult for me to write. For one, I wanted it to come out as a ‘hybrid’ of themes – silliness of Saori + flirty but sweet Kosuke scene + cascade of betrayal + overwhelming rage + sadness = Chapter 34 --- that kind of pattern. I hope it didn’t turn out so bad, hehe.

Now, for the shock pans, shall we?


Regarding Ayane’s rampage...

iLOVEyunho=)
whoa shes gone insane?
fuuko-chan
It was expected that Ayane might just lose control suddenly but how she lost it scared me. And yes, she felt scared of herself too...
ningmeng
she went insane.and that was scary.
noona
she's gone crazyyyy..
puppaluppa
Somehow i know Aya is going to break down eventually but hjshdjkshkjs that was intense!
fangirlism
it was kind of about time for her to explode. She kinda needed it.
azn_chick91
woah that was intense
whohungjen?
holy mini cooper that was pretty scary it was so emotional
blah.blah.blah
OH MY!!! So powerful...
x3_b3b3
woahhh Ayane totally lost it O_O she sorta scared me for abit..but I could feel her anger, her hate, and her sadness
anokakoolio
omg O.o This chapter was so emotional. She finally cracked
macdoox3
she's gone INSANE. In a crazy psychotic way.
renchew
Amazing, this side of Ayane. She mustve been waiting to release all her emotions for a long time but that was pretty insane sigh shes gone a bittttt crazy =(
angielyn;s2
omgggggg! she went crazy there for a minute, i was like brooooo wthhh
jaja13
omg, she totally went ballistic.
rufflezz
Wow. Her rage is out of control.
bby-aye
but waddah angry child! she sounded really really mad! better not mess with her..
babii_peach
whoaa hectic!!! wat the hell happened there she went crazy!!!
5imply_5wt
i never knew she was capable to do all of that..
rufflezz
Nothing can really calm her down now, although she thought that love could.
sweet_rose_20
poor girl, she had so much inside of her
PSiloveyu
I'm speechless completely and utterly speechless....................
x__nga
woah, this is crazy. you really did mean it when you said its going to be action now.
Denied86
Perhaps that was how you were trying to depict her as; crazy, if so, you totally succeeded lol!


^ Exactly. And not just ‘crazy’ but scary and freakish crazy.


Why?

I wrote this chapter to emphasize a couple of things: (And I’m happy that people actually pointed out exactly the things I’m trying to portray.)

EMPHASIS # 1: Ayane is powerful. Not just rich-powerful or pretty-powerful, but physically powerful. Among the members of the Silver Crescent, she can fight the best. She took down all those hitmen all by herself, even took down the higher council of the gang themselves (Rei and the others). The fight scene was not merely created to spice things up or created just to abide with the action genre consistently.


jinx1791

No one could ever replace the Empress.


^ It was to show WHO IS in-charge – “in the Silver Crescent’s face!”

EMPHASIS # 2: Ayane is angry. Not just plain angry but hellish, freakish angry.

lollipop517
I cnt believe they tried to replace her! Wtf?!
LoveItLiveIt
Whoa! What a big mess!! >< Everything..Ohh gosh..I can't believe the gang..
? ENN ?
I never expected for them to try and get Rei to be the new boss!


She is angry because she felt betrayed by the gang when they tried to oust her without her knowing. Remember that, somehow, being the almighty Lady Nu Huang built up her pride into something soaring high. She is angry because the Silver Crescent seems to not understand her feelings - of being torn between her duty and Kosuke. Above all, she is angry because she felt as if everything is going against her ‘being’ with Kosuke, not just the people who wanted them to separate but the circumstance/scenario itself. She thinks that people and the events had not been fair at all.


EMPHASIS # 3: Ayane refuses to listen. Notice that the rest of the Silver Crescent Gang, especially Rei and Lin were ‘trying’ to wake her up – ‘trying’ to remind her that “Hey, you have a duty to do!”. They told her of the past, of how many people sacrificed their lives under the cruel hands of the Spectra gang, of how much she craved for that revenge. But what did she do? She seemingly shut her ears to their pleas and had that ‘as-long-as-I’m-with-Kosuke-I’m-good-so-no-one-gives-a-damn’ attitude. Yes, she’s too blinded and deafened by love, and that brings us to #4…

EMPHASIS # 4:


lenaaa._
She hid away her emotions so good and now that she broke out I realized she loves Kosuke soooo much.

chng234
ayane must be very upset at this point.
but i believe she made the correct decision for choosing kosuke.


And her love for Kosuke was so strong that it leads us to # 5…

EMPHASIS # 5: Ayane admitted that she is selfish.

QUOTE
“Maybe Rei was right…
I have become selfish…
Because all I wanted to do right now was to be with you…”


Not only did Ayane admit that she’s crazy. Let’s see this one - -
QUOTE
“Let them say that I am selfish for all I care. I could go on and on, enumerating the number of instances I have lived for other people in the past. It is only fair that I claim my desires this time around…”


From the Yoshida Ayane in Book 1 who is willing to go too far for other people without asking anything in return, this time, she has begun ‘calculating’ her good deeds to justify her actions and mistakes. Though you can say that…

jusplainmeh

it's obvious that the b*tch is crazy.
1shinhwa
omg! that F*kin b*tch!


… and that Ayane is being too irrational with her actions, decisions, and emotions… that…

chocoberryjam*
…Aya overreacted
bee21192
if u make aya feel so self conscientious for being so emotional i think it'd be the typical protagonist's under-confidence that u find everywhere..
myxlove101
I think she needs another session. ^^;
Maybe a chill pill?


… we should remember # 6 - -

EMPHASIS # 6: Ayane is suffering from a psychiatric disorder.

I like this review by miss Silent Serenity - -

Silent Serenity
I just wanna add that probably Ayane, because of her psychological issues, tend to feel the extremes of emotions. Meaning, if she's sad, she's really sad. If she's happy, she's really happy. If she's angry, she's REALLY REALLY angry. She is unable to moderate her feelings and that's precisely what Shizuki has to fix.


^ Exactly. Although it does not occur in all post-traumatic stress disorder patients, sometimes they present with signs of being quite ‘bipolar’ at times. She bursts out not because she is overacting but because she simply isn’t mentally and emotionally capable of controlling her feelings.

But…

xradiostarx
shes uncontrollable unless shes with kosuke.


Very good opinion. As narrated in the romance overload chapters (a.k.a. Chapter 20-31), during that time she was with Kosuke, she seemingly warped back to that Ayane from eight years ago.

However, we can also look at this in a different dimension - - - that the thought of losing Kosuke’s love is precisely the thing that drives her mad and uncontrollable.

pie.x3
i wonder how she'll be able to keep track of the gang AND keep kosuke..
rikuu
huh why not.? I thought love heals everything ):
MRS.CHANGMIN(:
i still believe that love and revenge can both be had.


It’s a double-edged sword, and so, how does she pull out the balance so that she won’t falter both in her mission and love?

Well, that’s why this story’s still ongoing, hehe…

Anyway.

EMPHASIS # 7: Well-said by miss pinkslippers and meOz –

pinkslippers
Ayane was overpowered by her rage, by her desperation to protect Kosuke, to protect her only reason for living.i think it's just normal for Ayane to have her heart smeared with things other than love. Like hate. Like revenge. Because whoever undergoes what she has experienced in the whole duration of her existence would, i think, be having the same kind of heart too. or worse, much more tainted. Hate and revenge would always be part of Yoshida Ayane.

me0z
Holy moly your writing was so pro that it really painted a picture of the story. and man i felt lucky i wasn't actually there when Aya blew up cause that was just scary. it was unexpected, unpredictable and you could say not like aya at all. truly it is tragic to see a heroine falter just when all the things was brightening up for her. The rage was just overpowering.



EMPHASIS # 7: Well-said by miss loveme100x

loveme100x
In my honest opinion, every character in this story is selfish. They place greed and revenge above love, happiness and the well being of others. But I guess... in a selfish world, only the most selfish would succeed right? Ayane is in many ways wrong. But in other ways, she's right. They obviously don't know her if they went to that length to keep her from Kosuke and to even attempt to replace her.


If perfection was one of the major themes for Book 1, the counterpart for Book 2 is ‘selfishness’. We see how much Ayane and Lin seemed to scream “Look at me! I’m miserable, so feel sorry for me. It’s your duty to understand me!”. And it is precisely this self-pity and selfishness that makes them all the more broken (and precisely the thing that irks the readers).

maizakichi
ayane's so emotional now T_T
i don't know if i should hate her or love her atm~
kawaii999
I absolutely despise Ayane.
Chiiikk
And Lin .. Feel like she really hate aya-chan ..
sentuhmentalfo0l
and lin.. i thought she was her friend but she seems the most eager to get rid of ayane


And yes, I’m irking you guys on purpose, hehe…

However, there is someone in the group who does not bother lamenting about his dreadful past at all. You’ll find out who he is in the next chapters – and you’ll be shocked. This would actually change and fix things a little as far as the Silver Crescent is concerned.

EMPHASIS # 8: EVERYONE in the Silver Crescent hates EVERYONE in the Spectra… except Ayane and Kosuke.

mangoes-dbsk
She (Ayane) should realize that she is the only one who likes Kosuke here. All the rest of them hate him, even though whatever happened wasn't of his own fault. They hate the Spectra, they hate the people associated with the Spectra, and they hate the most, the people who is working in the Spectra. She should realize that, since she created the gang formed with ... antis? Haters, of the Spectra.


And so, the same question as before - -

shamansha
If these people wanted revenge then they should just go for Yamasaki Daisuke and leave Kosuke out of this...he was innocent ever since he was a child... he was brought up to be like this...poor kosuke...
jaeyoungg
think the Silver Crescent shld jus plan to kill yamazaki daisuke and dimitri Williams since they hv the most power and daisuke is nt kosuke's real father it shouldnt matter right? haha


Big secret for now… But if you’re good enough to catch the big yet discreet clues I’ve dropped both in Book 1 and Book 2, you’ll find out why they can’t just target Yamazaki Daisuke or why they can’t leave Kosuke alone in this mess – especially now that he angered Rei… a LOT.

EMPHASIS # 9 :

miss a??c a?s?r
The gang for the first time saw Ayane crying, to me it shows how much they really don't know about her then they think they do.


^ Self-explanatory.

EMPHASIS # 10: Ayane and Kosuke are going through similar dilemmas in relation to their gangs.

MINisVIP
why do kosuke and ayane have the same fate? T__T
being replaced..


^ Precisely.


Others questions / inquiries / random stuff

dreamer88
god that was
exciting like imagining an action film you´ve
put my imagination to work

Hehe, thanks.

jvang_07
If it were me, I would have had her kill Lin.


Couldn’t kill Lin because she had to serve ‘some other purpose’ in the story.

RHAINE
i personally think that saori should back off.
sure she gets teased a lot and wants to show kosu-kun that shes something better but jeez
she acts like a highschooler not a 25y/o chrr.


^ Very good observation. Take note of this. May come handy, who knows?

sARAnghae_oppa
Wow I never thought I would be so into the characters... But the story really does draw you in=)


Thanks, glad you feel that way. As much as possible, I’m trying to develop both the plot and the characters in every possible way.

simpleangel
I still want to see what would happen when Ayane meets with Crosse. Will Crosse still like Ayane?


You’ll go crazy from Chapter 40-50 -#-evil grin-#-

cambochinkanese

Hahaha, Kosuke, even if he's in pain he still had the energy to be flirtatious.


Hehe, Ijust thought of adding some mushiness so that the chapter wouldn’t be all that depressing.

.luckii.
AND SAORI!! CAN YOU JUST FRACKIN KILL HER??
cause...im guessing that none of the characdters will end up with the ones they love...


Give Saori a chance, trust me. Just forgive her… st*pidity for now.

sayuri ko
if her watch responds to gun wave lengths, then why didn't it detonate when rei shot lin's arm right before she revealed her watch?


It’s because Ayane activated/turned ON the wristwatch-bomb AFTER Rei pulled the trigger.

Denied86
What if she finds out that Kosuke was hurt by Crosse?!
HYPERGURLY^^
i wonder when kosuke is going to tell her that crosse did this to him!


The question is, would he?

lil^jenniie
Fuuko, wasnt there this tape that she aya
and isnt kosuke building or place built but her coompay, she is an architeture isnt she.???


Yes, Ayanami Fuuko (the resident female bully of Tsuzuya Academy in Book 1) is the one who gave her the tape. When will the tape come handy here in Book 2? What is the significance of her being an architect? Good observations and points to consider, but I can’t reveal that part yet.

kc_chua
her exterior was ninja-hot with those slamming moves with her nunchaku (cool weapon choice by the way!)


Hehe, I got the idea of the nunchaku while re-playing Suikoden II on the Playstation.

silently_solitude

I guess there'll be many more traitors and drama going on.


We barely got to that part, hehe.

benchi101

I hope that the explanation about Crosse's disappearance update soon.


Errrr… not too soon yet, I guess.

milk-o
The fight scene was a bit vague...I was hoping the action parts would be something that would make me wanna say, "god I missed every f*cking inch of that!"
I know that you're just starting to introduce the deception chapters along with the bloodier, action-packed ones... So maybe I'm just expecting things too soon? Its hard to say, I don't want to ruin the fun...


^ Hehe… *cough cough* Chapter 39 *cough cough*

yamaki_LOVE
Yoon & Chris doesn't hate Ayane or mad at her eh??


Chapter 36 will answer that.

syndryx
they all have their points and it's quite difficult siding with anybody...not that i really intend to do it, but as readers, you let us know a hell lot of things about what the characters are thinkin...and it's really difficult to see them all troubled and wild because of misunderstanding...


You yourself said it before right, syndryx? I remember it well when you said that there’s no one in the world that is pure evil.

Everyone has a story once you hear it… probably even Yamazaki Daisuke himself ?


MisoSoupOfKpop
I AM SO SORRY THAT I HAVENT COMMENTED AS MUCH AS I SHOULD HAVE. I blame school.


School first before F&L!

kc_chua
I nominated Fists and Lipsticks for Original Fic & Most Original Plot category for Fic of the Year!


Geez, thanks hehe. I actually thought that that thing was for fanfics only.

To those who placed their nominations, thanks a lot for the support… although there’s still no greater price than the experience of having to interact dynamically like this to you readers. You know, you guys throwing in your opinions and views of the story, posts that do not solely contain praises but intelligent exchange of information and criticism. I really appreciate it.


Author Notes & Review Replies for
Chapter 35 – Sessions (Part 7)


This chapter took me long to make, not because it was hard writing the plot but because this required me to do some research. I got to learn some basics on how actual psychiatrists do their psychiatric interviews. I came across an interesting article where in a violent, uncooperative patient was placed under some sort of ‘drug-interview’. The procedure makes use of drugs like barbiturates and sedatives to make the patient not just calm but, as said as miss milk-o - -

milk-o
5% intravenous sodium amobarbital at rate no more than 1ml per minute<= she isn't just letting her relaxed! Sodium Amobarbital has both sedative-hypnotic and analgesic compounds. Though it's an anti-anxiety drug, the rate of 1ml per minute might induce the patient to partial hypnosis, thus Ayane's 'readiness' to answer Shizu-chan's questions...

^ Precisely. It’s ---

kc_chua
…like a Veritaserum in Harry Potter! L0l


Yeah, pretty much like it, but it is actually used in real-life, although in rare and special instances.

me0z
Because Aya is kinda relaxed or just numb lost between feelings, her words were really simple, what really stood out, her simple statements "i'm angry'and 'sadness'.


That’s the purpose of the drug-assisted interview. The patient is able to define her thoughts and feelings more directly – more focused and easily relayed.

bloo
Wow you did a lot of research huh? Although I was expecting more psycho-analysis


Regarding the psychoanalysis, it would come later in the story. For those who do not know what a psychoanalysis is, think of it as a ‘psychiatric medication/treatment’ not using drugs or surgery but using psychiatric techniques. Right now, Shizuki is still in the interviewing/history taking phase. And yes, she is going tad slow.

whohungjen?

only a tad slow? its going soooooooo slow


^ Why? Well, hehe… Can’t tell yet.

simpleangel
-Gasp- Voice recorder?


Sometimes psychiatrists use voice recorders to record their sessions because patients do not like it when the doctor is scribbling and scribbling too much during the interview, indicating lack of sympathy in what the patient is saying and just after the information he/she is saying. Some doctors say that this is unethical though, but yeah… who knows? This voice recorder just might be handy in the future? Good way to point out.

MisoSoupOfKpop
I love the "Sessions" chapters. They provide insight into Aya's raw emotions and feelings
silently_solitude
I'm glad that Aya is able to cry now, and in front of Shizuki!
5imply_5wt
it's really good to get to know more about ayane and all the things she's going through right now.
sweet_rose_20
poor aya-chan......she has so many things inside of her to deal with.
? ENN ?
Aya's pasts is makes me wanna cry.
a??c a?s?r
It helps us know how ayane is feeling as well as giving us tiny clues
jaeyoungg
i feel so sad for ayane, hving an internal conflict
PSiloveyu
aya...the poor thing =(
rikuu
SO SAD! omg. poor her. poor shizu-chan. POOR EVERYONE.
Chiiikk
poor aya .. after all she is still a woman .. >...<


As I’ve said before, instead of writing ‘Reminiscence’ chapters for Book 2, I decided to make the flashback chapters in a form of a psychiatric session to make things a little different from the usual.

aya_fantasy17
nice research u've done on psychiatric interview.
chocoberryjam*
i liked the intro to the session, it sounded so professional .
kc_chua
Very few authors in Soompi, Winglin, & Fiction Press (or almost close to none) go through the pain of looking up complicated medical books for the sake of making realistic clinical diagnosis or treatments if they're necessary in the story.
I've seen fics (and even movies) where in the characters, for some reason, are brought to the hospital and the doctor in the story explains the condition of the patient, saying info that are not even realistic when you make a real doctor check it up (not that I'm ranting...). But that precisely makes your fic stand out. The fight scenes here may be quite towards the unrealistic side, but that is understandable because it was meant to be like that. However, when it comes to things like medicine/surgery related issues, you bring to us a case that is actually seen in real hospitals. That makes it authentic, and coming from someone who isn't in the medical field, being able to write like this is impressive. Excellent job!


Geez, thanks. I’m happy to hear that I sounded convincing, hehe.

Regarding the research, you’re correct miss kc_chua. I just thought that the fighting scenes of F&L are quite unrealistic – but I wanted it to be like that because I am inspired by movies like Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, The Matrix, Kill Bill, So Close, and kung fu movies. To make a little diversion from the ‘unrealistic’ fight scenes, I thought that putting realistic elements like the psychiatric sessions, for instance. I wanted to make the diagnosis and treatment as real as possible. I have a pet-peeve regarding unreliable medical information in novels and movies too (There’s a TV show in the Philippines where the lead character is some sort of mermaid. I think she was shot and the freakin’ mermaid was brought to the hospital, and there they performed CPR and blood transfusion ON THE MERMAID. I was… stupefied, hehe. Sweet Jesus, do mermaids have blood-types?).

And now, regarding Crosse Williams - -

RHAINE
their first meeting was sooo kyoot. crosse was such a shy kid.
dreamer88
it was a nice memory of how she met
crosse oh i feel sad now.....
.luckii.
the tearless me is still crying out to crosse. why is his life so sad? WHY DID YOU MAKE IT SO SAD?!
panguyfm
IT WAS SO SWEET HOW THEY MET FOR THE FIRST TIME
HE WAS HER FIRST CRUCH A GOOD FRIEND & COULD HELP HER HEAL HER WOUNDS
s2naomii
i tear up at the name of crosse williams T_T
and aya T_T
chocoberryjam*
i feel sorry for crosse and aya now... their lives have become so twisted. . . Im still waiting on more CROSSE ! !
azn_chick91
how she met CW is soooo cute ^^
x__nga
aww, cute meeting. childhood is an very important factor in psych. i think your doing a great job with the reports, seem real enough for me, although i never seen one before lol. but i took psychology last year, and everything sounds pinpoint.
rufflezz
It's cute the way that Ayane had met Crosse
yamaki_LOVE
0MG awhhh lil Crosse & whaa too cute!!
babii_peach
i love how ayane and crosse met . its totally adorable!
x3_b3b3
its soo cute how Crosse and Aya became friends!
sentuhmentalfo0l
aw the crosse flashback makes me miss him
sweetgirl_121
Hiro u make it hard to hate anyone, don't u? aya and cross first meeting was cute, i still they are more meant for each other.
pie.x3
oh so crosse is mentioned in this session chapter huh? he sounds really sweet as a little boy
iLOVEyunho=)
thats so cute aww!! i reckon shes better off with crosse
bby-aye
so thats how crosse and her met.
MINisVIP
crosse sounds so cute when he was younger, lol.
xradiostarx
i loved the flashback! poor crossee!


I started the narration of Ayane’s childhood with Crosse in the cutest way possible. And yes, it is not just to make you go “Aww, how cute” but to emphasize this fact - -

jaja13
i didn't know that a simple high school love story could turn into THIS!
fuuko-chan
I feel so sad for Ayane. T__T And the flashback of her and Crosse as children made me feel worse. D: Who would've thought that those two innocent kids would end up having so much problems as they grew.

And so, now for the common clamor:

macdoox3
i seriously can't wait when Crosse will meet Ayane face to face.
lenaaa._
I long for the day Crosse and Aya will meet again.
It seems like centuries ..
mangoes-dbsk
I want him to come out now! I want! I want!!
myxlove101
And have more Crosse time, kk? :]
lollipop517
Cant wait for him 2 be more involved in the present!
HYPERGURLY^^
i like kosuke and all but crosse.. he needs some loving too.


Hehe, cough *chapter 40 - * cough

xherodbskx
but I cant believe crosse is evil now T_T
renchew
But crosse's changed so much now =(
qiianer
Actually, I don't believe that Crosse has turned bad. I believe that he's somewhat planning a get back plan too.
cambochinkanese
Things are becoming unfortunate as things get going


Whether he has something in mind or not, that would be revealed later in the story.

Have your ‘shock meters’ ready, hehe.


Other stuff / questions / randomness:


~*BaeSeulGi*~
lin doesnt sound nice......don really like her alot


Chapter 36 would rationalize that part.

anokakoolio
Rei's threat was pretty scaring especially his implying on how people died because of her.


Things people do when they’re angry… and jealous. Yeah, the craziest things…

lil^jenniie
The gang are pushin her to hard I reckon because ... what she been through is more devasting than the others she was on the run most of her teenage years, not be able to be herself. Being portrayed as someone else.


The Silver Crescent has such high expectations for Ayane. Why wouldn’t they? She’s the leader after all – the high and mighty Lady Nu Huang. If you would look back to Book 1, Ayane worked hard to portray a role she wasn’t. The same thing is happening right now, but in a much greater scale.

Things in the gang would get a little crazier in the next chapters. Hold on to your seats, hehe.

pinkslippers
little did she know though, her impending meeting with Kosuke was actually the one driving her forward. each day. each minute. each second. Not to kill as she had always been telling herself, but to finally quench that longing to, at least, see her high school sweetheart. which she had always denied to herself.


Yes, precisely - - as would be emphasized in the next chapter.

W0z13
wait.
so crosse is his son?
waaaaaah? >-<;;
iim so confused = =;;


Crosse is Dmitri Williams’ son. Dmitri Williams is the CEO of the motorcycle corporation in Book 1. And Dmitri Williams is also the same guy whom Lady Nu blackmailed in the earlier chapters of Book 2.

Don’t hesitate to ask if you guys are confused with some parts. I’ll be more than glad to clear things up. *thumbs up*

dreamandlove
OMG!! I love the story...it's just soooo awesome!!!
I read the first part and I'm truly hooked


Hey, welcome to F&L and enjoy your stay!

amandahs
i just realized that you update pretty fast, and your chapter are all fully detailed and are interesting.You must be really good. I guess researching on the topic helps as well.


It helps writing at least 5 chapters in advance. It helps me come up with constant updates without compromising the quality and length.

milk-o
I was just a bit too happy getting to top 5. The retention policy of our school was too high! Did you know that in our 5-unit subject, out of 48 students in the second year, only eight of us passed the required grade quota?! Oh, and add the fact I am running a business and stalking my fave threads here in fanfix (that includes your thread mister)... So it was really such a pleasure to see that all my slacking hardwork paid off... We are now actually down to twenty-two this second semester, so I hope I could maintain things as it is...


Geez, you’re awesome. Law school must be really hard huh? I just had a conversation with my friend via YM (he’s in Ateneo de Manila) and he said that it’s hellish hard, especially Taxation.

sARAnghae_oppa
Their love could have been a great one if it weren't for so many misunderstandings along the way...


But come to think of it, it is because of these trials that fortifies their bond.

gule2
i like both Kosuke and Crosse. I don't want any of them to die or end up hurt. Hiro, please give F&L2 a happy ending!!


Well, we have a long way to go before this story ends. Let’s savor the moments for now, hehe.

littlemisstiny
want to apologise for not being around lately but my exams finished
snowy_life
OMMMGGG~~
SOORRII FOR NOTT REPPLLYYINNGGG FOR ALOOTT
didi-anime
SORRY for my late reply ><
i've just had heaps of work, my yearlies and everything crammed together so didn't have much time but im back now
cuti3gurl
wow i'm VERY late haha. i haven't read the past three chapters until now. the story has gotten SOOOOOO GOOD!


Like I’ve always said, school and real-life matters first before the Internet! Hehe. We never (and will never) require readers to reply chapter after chapter. The fact that you spend a fraction of your time to visit our thread is more than enough for me to appreciate your support. The kind words you leave give me the extra hyena-smile factor though. Man, how I dig them.

Author Notes & Review Replies for
Chapter 36 - Lullaby


This chapter for me was kind of disturbing to write. I'm a self-proclaimed homophobic and I do not enjoy stories with homos on it. It's a choice thing, so no offense to any particular person or fic around here in Soompi. All of us have our own likes and dislikes in this world, you know laugh.gif .

But somehow, perhaps this ‘dislike’ is precisely the reason why I made Yoon's story like this.

littlemisstiny
but even worse that people like this probably do exist in the real world taking advantage of children


^ What could be worse than a gay pedophile molesting 9-year-old male kids?

fuuko-chan
THAT WAS JUST SO NASTY! STUPID PERVERTED PEDOPHILE!
maizakichi
darn..yoon's past is troublesome too~
.luckii.
OMGG~ PEDOPHILIC CHILD, MUCH? THATS FRICKIN DISGUSTING
5imply_5wt
perverted old bastard.. i can't believe he did that to yoon.. * cries in a corner*
xKANA
That perverted old man! >:O He's so disgusting, thank god Kim Yoon Jae took care of him.
azn_chick91
poor yoon jae T.T he had to go through so much
didi-anime
yoon's story is so sad
HYPERGURLY^^
poor yoon!! his past was so sad and sickening.
sweet_rose_20
omg poor kim yoon jae..........had to go through all that
myxlove101
That's disgusting. That pedophile. Should have died years ago~
~~PuhPuhMuh~~
poor yoon
cambochinkanese
Yoon seriously has been through too much hardships; it's a good thing he's started fresh with Spectra.
silently_solitude
Goodness gracious!!!! What a scary yucky man!! And that poor Yoon! Ugh. The Spectra is really pissing me off!
qiianer
That Mr Han is a sick man okay!
Forget the fact that he's gay, but did he have to attack CHILDREN?!
PSiloveyu
this chapter put me in massive shock mode. the sick, disgusting, perverted, pedophile ==" poor pooor poorr yoon TT_____TT"
iLOVEyunho=)
poor yoon
babii_peach
who would hav thought. eurghh pedos man. seriously how could they?
amandahs
we got to know more about yoon
benchi101
NO! Yoon was harassed by a pervy ugly pedophile!!! TT^TT I feel so bad for him! I want to murder Mr. Han!!!!!!!
s2naomii
disgusting pedophile . . and aweeeeeeeeeeee yoon jae
Denied86
That was just depressing...
Chiiikk
wow .. yoon >..< poor him
fangirlism
IT was like an episode of Law & Order: SVU! Holy crap. D: <
~*BaeSeulGi*~
that Han guy is pure disgusting..........ewwwwwwww



Disgusting, true. Not only that, I’d like to emphasize. He came from a poor family, sold to a stranger at age six, molested at nine, witnessed the death of SangHun (the 14 year old kid who tried to save him and the other kids when they were nine), murdered a lot of people (including Mr. Han) in the bomb explosion and joined the Silver Crescent at age seventeen.

A little too much?

yamaki_LOVE
Poor Yoon his story is the saddest T-T I'm glad Lin realizes what she said to Yoon! & gosh he is smart!!
macdoox3
Yoon's past is truly one filled with pain. It makes me said thinking about it.
jusplainmeh
I don't care about any other of the silver crescent member's history. None of them can be as heartwretching as Yoon's...
kc_chua
I actually think that Yoon's past is a lot more brutal than Ayane's, given the fact that he was molested by a gay pedophile!


^ I’m happy that a number of people pointed this fact out, because this is precisely what I was trying to unveil through this chapter. Although Chapter 36 seemed to be merely one of those flashback chapters regarding a ‘minor’ character’s past, this narration aims to stress out a few facts:

1) Yoon’s past is dreadful… perhaps even more dreadful than the rest of the Silver Crescent, including Ayane herself.
2) Yoon never once showed he was bothered
3) Yoon never once ‘bragged’ about his past

And so…

RHAINE
i still hate Lin. its not like shes the only one who has been through all that shi*. i bet the others wouldnt have joined if they didnt have a reason. its not like they think lifes meaningless and they just want to jeopardize it for fun. dur. think lin THINK. LOLOL. im overreacting xD
w00dchild.jnR
I don't like Lin. She's selfish and spoiled and she thinks she's the only one that is hurt. Doesn't she realise that all the Silver Crescent are scarred? She's so bitter and unreasonable. She might be good at fighting, and maybe her mother was killed by Spectra, but everyone else also experienced terrible things. It's so unreasonable. That's so sad... I feel bad for Yoon ><
rufflezz
Lin shouldn't accuse her friends like that ):
But I guess now she knows the stories behind them all, or most of them.
sweetgirl_121
and here were Iam thinking that yoon was annoying that poor kid, I'm seeing him in very different light. now both lin and aya should be a shame, throwing all the fits like nobody was hurt as them when some were hurt really beyond their imagination.


Now, with Lin knowing this fact, Yoon somehow indirectly became her ‘means’ of re-assessing her actions and realizing her own mistakes.

noona
good that lin and ayane made up^^
sentuhmentalfo0l
i'm glad that lin apologized. i feel like she was being selfish
x3_b3b3
and its a good thing that Lin and Ayane made up. AND IT WAS SOO CUTE THAT LIN RAN OUT!~ keke
bee21192
even though a greater part was about yoon, lin is the one that really touched my heart.. i'm glad to see that the silver crescent gang knows when to get together and stand up for, or better, WITH each other..
renchew
Its good that lin understands everything now !
blah.blah.blah
Yay! Aya is forgiven!
puppaluppa
auw how cute Lin just ran out like that haha
xradiostarx
im glad that lin had understood things and hopefully everything will work out
macdoox3
I'm so happy that Lin apologized to Aya-chan. Finally I can see the friendship they share on a deeper level. And I'm sure Aya-chan can figure something out where ALMOST everybody is happy. She's smart, she can figure things out. ^^


By looking not only at the plot but the ‘motive’ behind the plot, we would see that this chapter aimed to show not just how characters commit mistakes but how they struggle to ‘rebuild broken bridges’. In this case, Lin realized her mistake of being too harsh with her judgment towards other people and her ‘crying over spilled milks’. True that her past was horrible too, but she finally realized that she’s not the only person shattered in the gang - everyone is, including the person alongside her who does nothing but smile.

Ayane also has almost the same flaw as Lin for Book 2 now that she has begun ‘calculating’ her good deeds to justify her actions in the present. She would find herself thinking about how good things would be with Kosuke as if totally forgetting about the task set on her shoulders. She is torn between playing heroine and playing the girl-in-love. This is to be fixed not only by Shizuki, but also by herself.

I like this comment by miss nganrinat0r:

nganrinat0r
it seems that the Silver Crescent is made up of exceptional people yet the most unexpected; aya, inititally the daughter of someone who manufactures cars while Yoon is the son of a poor family. their challenges in life made them the exceptional people they are. they are also strong due to barriers that they can relate and created; Yoon and his smile while aya and her fake identities.


^ Precisely. Ayane’s fake identities as Miyazawa Aya and Lady Nu Huang (and as Mei Lee) and Choi Woo Seok (Yoon)’s new name and smile are their self-made defenses.

simpleangel
I liked how he creeped Mr. Han out with his smile.
strawberrylova79
cant imagine that he was *shiver* the story for his never ending smiles/giggles is so sad
supergeek;3
Yoon's past made me go O____O he had such a terrible, and hard life yet he's still able to smile like that.
dreamer88
that´s why he smiles all the time it made me cry
renchew
Ahh i love yoon and his smile =)
bloo
...his smiles and goofy attitude definitely concealed his dark past well.
chocoberryjam*
WAHH!! what a sad story... hidden behind a smile i never knew Yoon would have such a . . . X_X past...
MINisVIP
and the fact that he smiles all the time to cover up his sadness/anger/upset is so.. i don't know how to say it, but it's kinda sad. WHY IS EVERYONE'S PAST SO COMPLICATED?!?!?!??!!?!?
jaeyoungg
i love this chpt though it's suppose to be sad =x cos i get to know better abt yoon, and i think he is becoming one of my fav char in F&L2 ;DDD
lollipop517
I've always loved him and now i love him even more! Bless! He's had such a hard time! Atleast it's made him stronger tho!


These uncanny defense-mechanisms may make them seem insane and frail at times, but these defenses show that they are human, desperately struggling to survive/escape from their own traumas

gule2
It's something that finally bring me closer to Silver Cresent's members.
pinkslippers
i hope Silver Crescent would be one again--one in friendship, one in taking revenge.
bby-aye
it seems like the crescent gang is coming back together.


Seems like it… but there’s still someone to worry about - - Rei.

This leads us to this:

macdoox3
I think, the complicated past that everyone in the crescent gang is what connects them, bind them and somehow divide them. The division, i think, is because of the different views.


I’m glad with the fact that you pointed out how the gang members have such diverse views and priorities when it comes to revenge. For Lin, revenge is getting rid of the Spectra in the soonest time possible. For Rei, he initially wanted to get rid of the Spectra to avenge her mother, but somehow his new anger towards Kosuke overrides this previous motive. Now, he wants to exterminate the Spectra including Kosuke so that he can have Ayane for himself. For Yoon, he wanted revenge against the Spectra because of the abuse he got when he was still a child, but he doesn’t take things as seriously as he ought to be because his defense-mechanism of smiling seemingly mask his true feelings. And so, he is misunderstood. For Ayane, she wanted to get rid of the Spectra, but at the same time protect Kosuke.

What about Chris?

milk-o
How about Chris? I think I'd wanna know about him too.
lil^jenniie
Chris sounds like a nice guy. I havent heard of him much since this chapter.
pie.x3
oh and chris seems to have alot of trust in ayane and it makes me feel like she's gonna have a comeback with this super awesome plan XD i'm looking forward to it
jinx1791
..go chris!!..woot!!..woot!!..
..such a nice man..a very transparent person..
..he didn't take any sides..he even makes things better and let them realize bout the situation..
..he's so smart..i started to like him and i know more if him now..
linnienguyen
i wonder what chris's past is too


Can’t say much about Chris at this point. But definitely you’ll read about his story soon.

Given these facts, this leads us to another reason behind writing Chapter 36 as it is - -

blurr
this adds a whole new meaning to "Spectra"
kawaii999
My disgust for spectra has been taken to a whole other level.
shamansha
Ughh stupid spectra! they do nothing but ruin everyones lives!


Yes, it is to again emphasize how POWERFUL the Spectra Gang is. They have a faction in Korea, meaning they have even more groups all over the world. They run drug laboratories, manufacture and sell illegal drugs and weapons, runs wh*re houses and casinos, host illegal street racing, and now even buy and abuse children. The Spectra gang is not just about dealing with an exchange of immature and petty deals or arguments like “This is my territory” or “I’ll beat you down because you beat my men”. They’re powerful, they’re rich, and they’re evil.

But then again, there are still LOTS of things about the Spectra that have not been written yet.

Hang on to your seats, hehe.



Other questions / stuff / randomness:

Sungminnnie
I was wondering, how old Yoon is right now?


Yoon is 21 right now. He joined the Silver Crescent when he was 17 years old. Chris recruited him in via the command of Ayane.

sweetgirl_121
i reread the chapter, am I missing something? weren't the Silver Crescent in for replacing aya with rei? how come Chris is rooting for ayane and asking for lin to understand her? so she is still the boss?


Ayane is still the boss. Remember how he kicked the ass*s of those people who tried to oust her? She threatened them all in Chapter 34 –

QUOTE
“If any of you wishes to be the new boss of the Silver Crescent,” I declaimed. “I suggest you come and try…”
“… that is IF anyone of you would dare to stop me.”

I placed my nunchaku back into my pocket, “Otherwise, no other person will lead the Silver Crescent except ME.”


anokakoolio
The Sae-ya Sae-ya song was song haunting. ONe of the people who sang that song had such a haunting voice that it was scary but beautiful.
Silent Serenity
And I tried playing the song in YouTube too and omg the song is creepy..... in a sense, lol.


I tried looking for a song that had that 'eerie effect'. Hehe, it’s probably inspired by the Hotel 626 game scene where you sing a lullaby to the baby. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you can click on my sig. Freaky, hell.

sarw
this fic ROOCKS

Geez, thanks… Hehe.

sARAnghae_oppa
I was wondering how you came up with this story. The plot is very complicated and none of the conflicts repeat themselves even when there was a prequel. I think you're so awesomely talented as an author. Ook That's it=)


It’s hard to describe exactly how I came up with Fists and Lipsticks. Probably it’s the way I could draw out inspiration out of anything under the sun (glow-in-the-dark stars because I really have them in my room since I was a kid, cookies because I was eating cookies when I made that chapter, Santa Clause because Christmas is coming pretty soon, wedding gowns because I happened to pass by a really beautiful one when I was strolling around a shopping mall, locked doors (hehe, I’d leave that to your imagination), lipsticks (because Zhang ZiYi is the model of Maybelline),… etc) and twist them into something that would fit the story.

A specific technique I do in order to string the events is to center the plot of each chapter around the chapter title. So you’ll notice that the chapters of F&L2 individually seem like a series of interconnected one-shots. I don’t cut the chapters just because another scene is about to start or just because I think that the chapter is getting too long or just because I wanted to leave a cliffhanger.

Another specific thing I do is that I make some sort of flowchart of events. Helps me track which scene comes next. If a new idea pops in my head, I insert them wherever they fit.

I also pre-write chapters before posting so that I can still change some parts where some inconsistencies may ensue.

eternal_bliss
anyone care to tell me if Crosse came back yet? It seems like I missed a lot....


Yup, he’s back.

jenibeth
it takes me almost a month to catch up with this fic, im glad i finally did!heheh
well, i love everything about your story, its kinda different from the other stories i have read!


Hey, welcome miss jenibeth. Enjoy your stay with us!

mangoes-dbsk
And, you changed your signature? Funny for me to notice. I don't remember your signature to be like that last time. And about that Hotel 626 thingy... isn't it on the soompi humor section? I go around that section a lot. I told my sister to play it. My sis thinks that we have to take photos of ghost? We can't play bcuz we have no webcam. Mind telling me what it's about?


Yeah, you have to take a picture of a drifting ghost and sing a zombie baby a lullaby. Freaky but cool, that’s why I’m recommending it.

Funny that I received PMs asking me if I started a new fic, hehe. Hotel 626 isn’t a new story by me. It’s a Flash game brought by Doritos.

Linnsterr
sorry lately alot been going on & i don't have time to comment
or read. but after this week -- i will catch up then ima leave you a really really long COMMENT =D


Hehe, it’s okay. Take your time.

kc_chua
More and more people should try reading something NEW here in Soompi and this is the story to read!


Thanks miss kc_chua. Although it could be really hard to gain new readers nowadays, especially when they find out that we still have a prequel and that I use Japanese names instead of Korean. Add to it the fact that F&L is quite different from Soompi fics. Let's admit that a greater fraction of readers like the ‘cliché ones’ more than the ‘weird ones’.

And yes, F&L is one of the weird ones, hehe.

That’s why I’m especially thankful to the new readers. I really appreciate how you spent a fraction of your time to give this ‘weird fic’ a shot.

milk-o
Hiro, kapag tinanggal ako ni Meia sa PM list, babalatan kita! Wahahaha! Kidding!


WAAAAAA! Wag po…………


Speaking of...

This brings us again to the common question / PM:

ARE YOU REALLY FILIPINO HIRO?!

Yes, I'm Filipino hehe.

I'm not a pure blood, though. I'm half-Chinese. But I'm a US Citizen.