I'm currently editing my fiction, Zero Dragon, which I post in Fictionpress.com.
Reading through it made me realize how much it screams for help!
I'm in episode 3 already and I must admit that reading through my work is really tough. It's been a long time since I last re-read Zero Dragon. For some reason, I feel as if I'm reading a work that is not mine! Weird, huh? Now, I'm seeing those typos and grammar errs and shifting tenses more clearly this time around. I'm having a hard time reading my own work - - what more, the reader?! OMFG this is a fiction emergency. And to think I've made it sound so huge and all... now I am quite uncertain about it. The story, despite its heightening plot, have so many holes in it. I think I made some calculations wrong. I over-exaggerated some parts that this time, I don't know where to pull the right bulk to fit into the plotroom from.
Revisions did not only include the grammar errors. The formatting (paragraphs, indentions, and alignments) will be uniformed. Lengthy episodes will be narrowed down into Chapters to enable readers to give more concise and constructive reviews and make reading the massive text easier (uploaded as Episode I : Chapter One, Episode I : Chapter Two, Episode IX : Chapter Four... and so on..) Some speaking lines were changed and some scenes made slightly different. Plot sequences were changed too.
I decided to make ZD more novel-like this time. I have incorporated RPG-game elements like putting the actual names of the swords, armors, and weapons that were bought by the characters in their travel from place to place, including their stat point attributes. But I guess I have failed to keep it constant for the latter episodes. And so, I have also deleted these parts and opted to replace them with more vivid descriptions. Don't worry though. Characters still move around like that in an RPG and get themselves their gadgets too. The emphasis, however, will be decreased as compared to the previous.
The story's currency, qians, had been revised as well. I said before that it was "set out by monsters once they are slain". I got a review pointing out that it was very much "video-gamish", to which I agree with. And so, this time I figured out to change that part. Instead, qians will be acquired through trading monster hide to merchants.
A number of Mignard's conversation lines were changed too. I noticed that his manner of speaking had been not constant in some parts. He should have his trademarked "exaggerately polite and princely" manner of speaking in the earlier parts of the fiction. The casual manner of speaking should come later when he grows a more amicable friendship with Zero. That was my initial plan, but I guess that did not come out that obvious. I worked on that one too.
I noticed too that I put on too much fire on Eiles - LITERALLY. Dhor was burned, Afaria was burned, Carinde was burned, La Flance... well, at least La Flance was not burned or something. I think it was quite redundant. I plan on pulling out Afaria from the list. Dhor and Carinde scenes, I believe, incorporates fire in the background quite well from my point of view.
I also pulled out "!"s and "Uh!"s which are visibly too redundant in the earlier episodes. I think I placed it there before to fill in the holes where in I felt that the character HAS to say something here... So blam blam blam, I put these nonsense words for the heck of it. Good idea? NO way. Pull it out at once, Hiro! Pull pull pull!
Another is Master Zhang Lu and the Nemethia Mercenaries. Zero, the main character of ZD, is a member of the Nemethia Mercenaries. If Zero is in it, then the mercenary faction should have an active role in the story! Why didn't I realize that a long time ago? And Master Zhang Lu should have more exposure. Besides, he is the leader of the reknowned mercenary group! From episode 1 to the latest, there had been a very minimal exposure and activity as far as Nemethia is concerned. Their role should not be merely confined in one episode just like what I have done. Wrong, wrong, and WRONG. And another wrong thing I did regarding Nemethia is identifying them as a "mercenary group willing to do tasks for a price". If they were so great and full of respect, Nemethia should instead be willing to do tasks if righteousness entails it, regardless of whether there was a reward or none. For the revised edition, expect to here more from the Nemethia Mercenaries, including Zhang Lu, Reed, and the others.
In the episode where Zero tells his past (Man of the Tides), he narrates his relationship with Mondragona. There had been a little emphasis on this when this information is crucial to understand Zero's hesitation to... wait, this is giving out a major spoiler. *zips my mouth shut for a split second*. Anyway, the point is that the Zero-Mondragona relationship should be more extensive just like how the Mignard-Lineah relationship is constructively built. The only difference is that the Zero-Mondragona relationship relies more on flashbacks. I noticed that there was minimal emphasis on them.
Warrick is another character I wanted to pull out from the party when I scrolled down the pages of ZD (traveling in a great number must be very unrealistic. I consider it a great thing to lessen them up quite a bit). I think it would be better to just meet him and just make him give the bow to Zero for Artifact Cube safekeeping. But in my plot, he ought to do something very brief yet very important in one battle with Rourke later in the upcoming face-offs. And hey, I made a CG of Warrick and I think he's okay... so there... no. Erase that. I'm not gonna pull him out anymore.
Well that's about it for now. Editing is no fun at all, but it is a great learning experience. I am always too lazy to edit my own work as compared to editing and proofreading and commenting on other people's work. But hey, in this blog I think I have given a constructive review to myself! Lol.
When the proofread version of Zero Dragon is finally published, I'd make sure that it's in its best state for the readers to fully enjoy. Hope you keep on supporting ZD, which has been running for almost five years now. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart! ~@~
