I've been receiving tons of emails, PMs, signed & unsigned reviews both from Fictionpress & Soompi regarding the 'terrible things' I've been doing to Ayane and Kosuke. Guys, I still wanted to do so many things in my life like get married, have kids, become an astronaut... so please don't kill me yet! AHHH!
Anyway, kidding aside...
Regarding the question about why Ayane was acting the way she was - Why was she acting so "emo"? Why can't she just get over it and be with Kosuke and forget everything else? Why does she have to make her life and love-life so overly-dramatic with the way she acts? Why does she have to react that way? Why does she have to deny that she was Ayane? Why can't she just blurt out that "Hey, I'm your Aya-chan!". If she wanted revenge, why can't she just kill Daisuke? Why is Kosuke on the kill list?
Lots of questions, huh? Told you, I'm the Brain Fryer, hehe.
I couldn't answer those questions straight up, but instead, let me point out several things to you that may answer your confusion a bit - -
Fact # 1
If Ayane told Kosuke as early as now that she is Ayane and just live happily ever after, F&L2 will be over before it even reaches the climax! Before killing me, please let me have the opportunity to bring out the stuff I have on my 'secret box' gradually. Besides, if I came up with such 'rushed' ending/conclusion to F&L as early as now, you would surely be left hanging with all the questions unanswered.
Fact # 2
Remember that Ayane is currently suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder. In the reader's perspective, her reasons may seem 'dense' - - I understand that it may make readers think that "...she's so stupid... Why does she have to go emo like that when she can just tell him that she's Ayane and live happily ever after...". But if you would consider this fact along with those terrible things that have happened to her in the past, it is only logical that her fear and guilt affects her ability to make decisions. That's why if you have noticed, I emphasize that each time she and Kosuke meets, she kinda goes 'out of her mind'. Her 'assassination mission' was going well in Chapter 14: Lost Memories, but when Kosuke appeared, she suddenly goes *blamm!*.
Fact # 3
Remember that Yamazaki Daisuke is now the Prime Minister of Japan. Meaning, he's now more powerful - - a lot more powerful than before. The Spectra is under Kosuke's command now, but even though this is the case, Daisuke is still the 'big guy' over the gang <---- WHY? I can't reveal the reason for now. I can't elaborate because it may spoil some things that should be revealed on the pending chapters, but here's the thing - Daisuke is still 'technically' the Grand Boss of the Spectra gang... and at the same time, he is also the leader of the entire Japan.
That makes him twice or even thrice as powerful.
And as I've mentioned in the chapter where Nami finally confessed that she is not Kosuke's real mother, she told Kosuke that Daisuke made him take over the gang because it was part of his revenge - to make Kosuke the leader of the very gang his real parents started, meaning:
1) He has to undergo the pressure of being the leader
2) It was in his job description to kill - to transform into a person he's not
3) He was made to take over despite his unwillingness
4) He had to suffer by going through all these ^
5) Daisuke has just successfully made his ultimate revenge upon Gendou and Lily Akiyama (Kosuke's real parents) - - making their own son suffer.
And knowing these, this brings us to Fact # 4 . . .
Fact # 4
Because Yamazaki Daisuke is twice or thrice as powerful than before, even the Silver Crescent couldn't just jump onto him and kill him that easily. And so, as the leader of the Silver Crescent, Ayane formulated a 'grand scheme' to take down the Spectra as stealthily as they could. If you have noticed, they have been doing things gradually - killing important affiliates first, raiding storages, assassinating more affiliates, hacking into their computer systems... all these rather than going straight to Daisuke to kill him, because she knows that doing so would not be as easy as it seems even though she can fight better than Bruce Lee, Jet Li, or Lara Croft. This way, it would be like taking down the foundations of a building first rather than bringing the whole structure down in one blow, which was basically impossible, granted that they were battling against another big gang.
I do hope you get the picture... Makes it more realistic, eh?
But the other big question is... Why is Kosuke on the 'kill list' of the Silver Crescent?
Fact # 5
Kosuke IS the NEW leader of the Spectra Gang. Even though he seems like a puppet of Daisuke, he is where he is. I couldn't expound on this yet because it would be another major spoiler if I say as early as now the reason why Ayane 'had' to include him in the kill list.
But hey, if Kosuke has been in the 'kill list' for such a long time now, why aren't the Silver Crescent killing him yet when they all have their chances? Besides, he's been out in the open too often, unguarded and leisurely going around... For the reason, let's just say that it has something to do with Fact # 4 ^ (doing the revenge plan 'gradually').
Not satisfied with the reasoning in Fact # 4?
Hehe.
Well, if you're good, that alone gives you a clue...
Next stuff - - Why can't Ayane just tell Kosuke that she IS Ayane?
Fact # 6
One symptom of someone suffering from post-traumatic disorder is 'denial' and 'diversion from self'. If you have noticed, Ayane has gone through a drastic personality change. She has transformed into a completely different person, yet somewhere inside her was longing to find her true self.
I read an almost similar psychological case from a medical journal from my research and I kind of applied it to Ayane's case - that because of her sudden 'shift' to a persona that she isn't, she begins to become confused of who she really is. The result is that she has been acting as different personas ("multiple/split personalities") - sometimes she act as a really cruel gang leader. One time, she acted like a child at such daze during the "glow-in-the-dark-stars" Sessions chapter. Then on one chapter, she was drinking and drinking while willfully telling Shizuki of her past. One chapter, she was dancing so gracefully that no one would think that she's the same person as the gang leader, that she's the same person that was at daze with the glow-in-the-dark stars chapter, that she was that drunken girl...
This psychiatric condition + her guilt + her sadness + her hatred + her grand revenge plan = FACT # 2
You could imagine the overwhelming emotions swarming inside her.
Now, I ask you - - Who wouldn't go insane?
And that's why she couldn't tell Kosuke that she's Ayane. It's not because she's emo, or because she's being too dramatic... She could not tell him because she wasn't mentally capable of doing so, even though inside her, she was screaming "I AM AYANE!".
And Shizuki's role in this story is to fix this mess ^ .
And besides, if she did tell him that she is indeed Ayane, there would be no need for me to write Chapter 21-30 - the much awaited romance chapters, hehehe...
^ So there, I hope those things I've written spared my life, hehe.
Thank you for your continuous support! If you have more questions, don't hesitate to PM/e-mail/message me in Fictionpress, Hotmail, or Soompi.
-hiro
